(On war) "Sometimes I think men raise flags when they can't get anything else up."
~Berthe, in "Pippin"
Rosencrantz: "Be happy - if you're not even HAPPY what's so good about surviving? We'll be all right. I suppose we just go on."
- from Tom Stoppard's Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead
from Damn Yankees (Mr. Applegate is on the phone with hell) Applegate: Hello hell? Its me *pause* wadda ya mean who? who else gets to leave?
from Chicago Velma: hello suckers, welcome back
"Grease," the fourth revival of the season, is the worst show in the history of theater and represents an unparalleled assault on Western civilization and its values. - Michael Reidel
"At least my dress doesn't have any leather fringe on it" "Oh that's ok, your hair kindda makes up for it"
Do not put your faith in a cape and a hood.
They will not protect you the way that they should.
~Into the Woods
"There is no plague! You are trying to raise cows on the side of a MOUNTAIN!!!" ~Meredith Parker, Bat Boy
"Grab your dick and double click for porn, porn, porn!" "Being on an elevator, and somebody shouts "hold the door!" NO! SCHUDENFREUDE! F*CK you, lady, that's what stairs are for!" "SH*T! Her name is Alberta, she lives in Vancouver..." "Brian! Come back here! You take out recycalabirds!" "You can't put your finger there! PUT YOUR FINGER THERE!"
~~**I've had a knack from way back of breaking the rules once I learned the games**~~
~~**Badger badger badger badger badger...MUSHROOM!!!**~~
Everything in "Urinetown" is hilarious, but I think this is my personal favorite: Little Sally: "What kind of musical IS this?! The good guys finally take over and then everything starts falling apart??" Officer Lockstock: Like I said, Little Sally, this isn't a happy musical. Little Sally: But the music's so happy! Officer Lockstock: Yes, Little Sally. Yes it is.
I also like this one from "The Producers": "I want you to know, my dear, that even though we're sitting down, we're giving you a standing ovation."