Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings- Page 4
Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Mythus
Broadway Legend Joined: 8/16/04
#75re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 1/11/08 at 5:47pm
Spamalot's, just for accuracy's sake:
"Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the Shubert Theatre. During this performance, please feel free to let your cellphones and pagers ring willy-nilly. However, do remember that there are heavily armed knights onstage and you might well be dragged up and impaled. Oh, and the Spamalot orchestra is under the baton of..."
#76re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 1/11/08 at 6:37pmIn Priscilla Queen of the Desert: The Musical, it's done in a male drag voice, and he says something like: "Please turn your cell-phones off and place them in your man bags" and something else about, "telling your boyfriend about not taking photos. I don't care how desperate he is for sex!"
A little known fact is that in the original screenplay, Pan's Labyrinth was Pan's FLAByrinth. Hmmmmmmm...glad they changed it.
Mattbrain
Broadway Legend Joined: 11/23/05
#77re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 1/11/08 at 6:51pm
""Hey guys, can I have a sec? This won't take long. So, okay, the show's about to start, and it would be totally helpful if you could turn off cell phones, Sidekicks, you get it? Oh, and ditto for no-go on cameras or video -- if anything shows up on YouTube, I am going to come after you and I am so not kidding right now. The show is conducted by James Something-or-Other, who, P.S., is totally hot in a John-Mayer-scruffy-write-you-songs sort of way. Have fun!""
My favorite of all time!!!!!
Butters, go buy World of Warcraft, install it on your computer, and join the online sensation before we all murder you.
--Cartman: South Park
ATTENTION FANS: I will be played by James Barbour in the upcoming musical, "BroadwayWorld: The Musical."
broadwayman17
Broadway Star Joined: 10/27/07
#78re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 1/11/08 at 7:25pmwhat was the cry-baby warning?
Yes, but sometimes people have a third deeper layer thats the same as the first. Like pie. Dr. Horrible
noahrp3
Broadway Star Joined: 2/7/05
#79re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 1/11/08 at 7:38pm
The Cry Baby one was embedded in the overture, so the overture would start and then at certain points of it, a few voices would say in rhythm: "Take your seats" or "cell phones off", etc. The same thing happens at the end of the show and the voices say "Get some sleep" and "drive home safe", etc. It's definitely my favorite beginning of show warning.
neddyfrank2
Broadway Legend Joined: 12/23/05
#80re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 1/12/08 at 3:35amMy favorite was "lower your cholesterol."
#81re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 1/12/08 at 8:23amI cannot believe anyone has talked about when Kristen Chenoweth was host of the Drama Desk Awards. She said something about if she hears a cell phone she swears she will make this mother 10 hours long! It was hystericala.
"Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around."
i.believe2
Swing Joined: 1/11/08
#82re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 1/12/08 at 2:59pm
people laughed at spring awakening's..
lauren pritchard mentions over the loudspeaker to "unrap all candies".
people found that HYSTERICAL!
BlueWindSadness
Stand-by Joined: 12/28/07
#83re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 1/12/08 at 3:07pm
i was gonna say!
i find the "please unwrap all candies" awesome. i mean, it does need to be said though, because that could be the most annoying thing while you are trying to watch a show- somone munching on candy and rustling wrappers. am i right? if you have ever been to see mary poppins, you would understand with all those kids in the audience!! haha.....
"that's what my date said."
#84re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 1/12/08 at 3:11pm
Sideshow
Usher came to from of mezzanine and hushed the whole theatre to say 'ladies go to the bathroom NOW cos its 2hr till the intermission' - mad rush for toilets, male and female!
A young actress with Noel coward after a dreadful opening night performance said to him 'Well, i knew my lines backwards this morning!''
Noels fast reply was ''Yes dear, and thats exactly how you said them tonight'!'
myManCape
Broadway Legend Joined: 2/26/05
#85re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 1/12/08 at 3:18pmDidnt read the thread so I dont know if its been mentioned (I doubt it has) at "The All American Sport of..." it was announced that any ringing phones would be assumed to be communication with Al Queda and that the offender would be sent to GitMo.
"Have they come yet?"
Josh Freilich
Broadway Legend Joined: 2/17/06
#86re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 1/12/08 at 4:13pmDoes anyone know YF or TLM's preshow announcements?
"How could she just suddenly, completely disappear into thin water?" - The Little Mermaid
dinglehopper89
Stand-by Joined: 11/18/07
#87re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 1/12/08 at 4:24pmLight in the Piazza with their Italian :]
Josh Freilich
Broadway Legend Joined: 2/17/06
#88re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 5/5/08 at 2:57pmDoes anyone have The Little Mermaid's preshow announcements, or does it just begin immediately?
"How could she just suddenly, completely disappear into thin water?" - The Little Mermaid
#89re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 5/5/08 at 3:07pm
Cry Baby
Also at a high school it was
"Turn off all your cell phones, blackberries, and small children."
bwaymizfit2
Understudy Joined: 5/19/06
#90re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 5/5/08 at 3:34pm
I just got finished with a local production of "The Full Monty," and our preshow announcement proceeded with the normal cell-phone/photography warning, but ended with,
"This show contains adult themes, nudity, and strong language, so if you have small children in the audience, GET THEM THE **BEEP** OUT OF HERE!!...thank you."
It was fabulous.
#91re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 5/5/08 at 3:39pmWith Top Girls -- they just kept playing the sound effect of a ringing cell phone sporadicly throughout the pre-show period and during the two intermissions. At least I think that was the cell phone reminder and not part of the show.
#92re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 5/5/08 at 3:44pm
Also at Top Girls, there's a sssshhhhhhhhhhhhhh right before each act starts. It's kinda weird, but very effective.
When they announce the unwrapping the candy, the audience always laugh like they think it's a joke.
#93re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 5/5/08 at 3:52pm
Spamalot's is awesome.
Now, this didn't have to do with being quiet or cell phones, but with Mamma Mia they gave out a warning that people would be on stage in spandex. LOL! It was great.
"I don't want the pretty lights to come and get me."-Homecoming 2005
"You can't pray away the gay."-Callie Torres on Grey's Anatomy.
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#94re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 5/5/08 at 3:59pm
I love Legally Blonde and Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.
DRS: Ladies and Gentalmen welcome to Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. Please turn off all electronics, if a cellphone goes off the seats are equiped with ejection hydrolics. This performence is conducted by the Communist Kevin Casey.
LB: Hey Guys! Could I have just a sec? This won't take long. So, OK. The show's about to start, and it would totally helpful if you turn off cellphones, Sidekicks--- You get it. Oh and that's a no go on camera or video--- if any of this shows up on Youtube I will come after you and I'm so not kidding right now. This performence is conducted by the totally hot "Conducter" in a James Blunt write you a song sort of way.
DefyGravity777
Broadway Legend Joined: 1/28/08
#95re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 5/5/08 at 4:47pm
The Legally Blonde one is cute.
What was funny though that during the show Elle's phone goes off and everyone in the audience was looking around to see if it was theirs. Including me...LOL
Don't believe everything that you hear! Only the peeps involved know the truth!
#96re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 5/5/08 at 7:26pm
"Turn off all your cell phones, blackberries, and small children."
My new favorite.
TragicFlaw
Swing Joined: 1/23/05
#97re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 5/5/08 at 11:42pm
Walmartopia's was pretty funny. I can't remember exactly what it said though.
The 39 Steps' is also funny. It asks you to turn off all cell phones, watch alarms, and personal surveillance equipment.
#98re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 5/6/08 at 12:40amI was at Spelling Bee at the Drury Lane Theater in Chicago, and it was a really small matinee crowd, and Ms. Peretti had just gotten done saying her little intro thing, and a cell phone went off right before the second song started. and she was like "And AS I SAID BEFORE, please turn your cell phones OFF" in a really stern, evil ish voice. it was great.
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I?
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
thatgirl712
Broadway Legend Joined: 3/29/08
#99re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 5/6/08 at 2:39amInteresting, gets your attention.
If I heard the bells and the banjos ring
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