Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings- Page 3
Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
#50re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 4/1/07 at 7:28pmDame Edna: she calls from her cab on the way to the theatre encouraging people to use their cell phones, etc. It'll make it easier to locate them and have them killed.
"It's not so much do what you like, as it is that you like what you do." SS
"Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana." GMarx
"Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana." GMarx
AudreyTwoTwo
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/4/06
#51re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 4/1/07 at 7:35pmthere's a youtube warning for legally blonde? what is it (yeah im seeing it wednesday but if they took it out i still want to know what it is)
The Best of Times is Now!
#52re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 4/1/07 at 7:45pm
This is the one that Legally Blonde used in San Francisco (and that they will hopefully use in New York...I want to hear it when I see it this summer!) I got this from the Legally Blonde Appreciation Thread, by the way:
"Hey guys, can I have a sec? This won't take long. So, okay, the show's about to start, and it would be totally helpful if you could turn off cell phones, Sidekicks, you get it? Oh, and ditto for no-go on cameras or video -- if anything shows up on YouTube, I am going to come after you and I am so not kidding right now. The show is conducted by James Something-or-Other, who, P.S., is totally hot in a John-Mayer-scruffy-write-you-songs sort of way. Have fun!"
Josh Freilich
Broadway Legend Joined: 2/17/06
#53re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 8/21/07 at 8:52pm
OH, I forgot to mention my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE preshow announcement:
"Please remember to turn off all cell phones, beepers, watch alarms, radar detectors, egg timers, electric shavers, and anything else that would make a distracting noise during the show."
Is there any funny cellphone annoucnements in LITTLE MERMAID? Maybe something like:
"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, as a courtesy to the creatures of the deep, we kindly request that you turn off your cellphones, beepers, watch alarms, and iPods, as well as refrain from using any photography or recording, especially since none of those devices would work underwater anyhow. And for this performance, the orchestra will be conducted by ______ _________!"
"How could she just suddenly, completely disappear into thin water?" - The Little Mermaid
#54re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 8/21/07 at 9:00pm
One that stands-out in my mind...
A production of LES MISERABLES I was doing a while back. It was April Fools'. The announcer says, "Good evening, and welcome to tonight's performance of The Mystery of Edwin Drood. (the production we had mounted the year prior) Seriously though, we welcome you to Les Miserables. Please, refrain from using your cell phones, pagers, beepers, and recording devices. Whether on the streets of Paris OR Cloisterham, it's always best to be kind to our performers. Many thanks and enjoy the show. Thank you."
#55re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 8/21/07 at 9:07pm
DRS and Spamalot had/have good ones. 
Who would play you in the movie? "Taye Diggs." --Brian d'Arcy James
#56re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 8/21/07 at 9:21pmNobody mentioned Hairspray's warning, that is my personal favorite.
#57re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 8/21/07 at 9:22pmMamma Mia!- something like: "Warning, this show contains strobe lights, spandecks, and really high heels, so those faint of heart, please leave."
"I mean, sitting side by side with another man watching Patti LuPone play Rose in GYPSY on Broadway is essentially the equivalent of having hardcore sex." -Wanna Be A Foster.
"Say 'Goody.' Say 'Bubbi.'" ... "That's it. Exactly as if it were 'Goody.' Now I know you're gonna sing 'Goody' this time, but nevertheless..."
ThankstoPhantom
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/13/05
#58re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 8/21/07 at 9:53pm
Summer 2005, The London Production of The Woman in White had a pleasant woman's voice say:
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the Palace Theatre. As The Woman in White takes place in Victorian Times, it pretakes the invention of personal photography, video recordings, and mobile phones. We will be grateful if you refrain from their use. Your conductor for this evening's performance is Mr. Stephen Brockner...thank you."
How to properly use its/it's:
Its is the possessive. It's is the contraction for it is...
#59re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 8/21/07 at 10:22pmMy favorite was when I worked at the Delacorte during Henry V. They had an actor on stage with a camera taking pictures of the audience, then the assistant theater manager would ask him to stop taking photos, he wouldn't. Then she would "confiscate" his camera. It was funny to watch because the schtick between them would change every night. Sometimes the actor would be so obnoxious to her just to get her reaction. The otehr good one was the Seagull when there was an anouncement made that con edison was testing new technology and if a cell phone went off during the show the owner would be electrocuted.
#61re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 1/10/08 at 8:46pm
I too am a fan of the High Fidelity pre-show announcement in Boston. It had me falling out of my seat from laughing so hard.
Recently I was in Peter Pan, and our Captain Hook recorded our pre-show announcement, and the whole thing was pretty funny, but the best part was, "Crying children are like good intentions and should be carried out."
#62re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 1/10/08 at 8:59pm
When I saw DRS in St. Louis, they had a a couple of swings on and such so they listed them.
And they had the guy playing Freddy do the announcement and it went something along the lines of:
"Hi. So, we're gonna start. As soon as you SHUT YOUR TRAPS. Okay, now, since this is the theatre, we ask you turn off your cell phones, pagers, and all that jazz *starts humming*. Also, may we remind you that this is ALL COPYRIGHTED! NO cameras. No audio or video recording. It is illegal. If you do record the show, your recording will rock. But you're an idiot. Thank you for your time. Now, sit back, shut up, and listen. Cause now WE'RE the center of attention-NOT YOU!"
*Overture begins*
At SD they said that he ad libbed the entire announcement. Supposedly they wrote down a basic "Turn off cell phones" but he added some to it. It was hilarious.
"That's a good point. Next time I pee on a Starbucks couch and throw straws and napkins at a barista, I'll just yell, "YOU DON'T KNOW ME OUTSIDE OF STARBUCKS! YOU DON'T KNOW ME AT ALL!" and that should do it. "-LizzieCurry
SweetQintheLights
Broadway Legend Joined: 6/12/05
#63re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 1/10/08 at 9:15pm
Malice, Hairspray's announcement is one of my favorites also.
"...there were no phones in the 60's..."
"How bout a little black dress?"~hannahshule
"I have a penis, not a vagina." ~munkustrap178
#64re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 1/10/08 at 9:23pm
I loved Cyrano de Bergeracs's. It was something like
"Please remember that swords are used in this production, so don't use any cellpones, cameras, or video rcording devices."
"He found something that he wanted, had always wanted and always would want— not to be admired, as he had feared; not to be loved, as he had made himself believe; but to be necessary to people, to be indispensable."
-F. Scott Fitzgerald's This Side of Paradise
#65re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 1/10/08 at 10:22pmLegally Blonde &&& Mamma Mia!
jordangirl
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/1/06
#66re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 1/10/08 at 10:37pmWhen I saw it, November didn't have one. Just the ushers saying to turn them off when you went in. I was a little disappointed. I'd hoped for something like "This is the President..." Or at least Hail to the Chief in the background or something.
Experience live theater. Experience paintings. Experience books. Live, look and listen like artists! ~ imaginethis
LIVE THAT LESSON!!!!!!
LIVE THAT LESSON!!!!!!
neddyfrank2
Broadway Legend Joined: 12/23/05
#67re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 1/10/08 at 10:59pm
Hands down (Wannabe is gonna kill me for this one) the best is Cry Baby.
It is the most creative way of announcing it that I have ever heard, and the timing on it is perfect. Dare I say, it is actually one of the highlights of the show.
#68re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 1/10/08 at 11:03pm
Spamalot's is very funny
Jordangirl I was hoping for the same thing! When I saw November 2 weeks ago I was awaiting an announcement from Nathan Lane haha
http://two-sails.blogspot.com/
henryt
Broadway Star Joined: 7/26/07
#69re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 1/10/08 at 11:33pmTLM's isn't creative at all. The only thing that they did differently is that they added "noisy" before "candy wrappers"
#70re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 1/10/08 at 11:39pm
A play i wrote which opened in a fringe festival in the UK last year called '3sum' (an updated twiat on 70s sex comedies) had a great pre show announcement
"Ladies and gentleman welcome to tonights performance of 3sum, may i take a moment to remind you that the use of camera recording equipment is strictly encouraged and we urge you to post it on you tube as we need all the publicity we can get.
Also note that whilst the cast do not condone having a 3sum they did all research with each other and now are not returning each others calls so F**k knows who is in the cast tonight.
So sit back, relax, set the toys to vibrate and enjoy the show "
Namo i love u but we get it already....you don't like Madonna
LadyRosecoe
Broadway Star Joined: 8/4/07
#71re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 1/11/08 at 3:36amDie Mommie Die's was probably the most extremely entertaining, not necessarily funny. It had this killer song playing to sound like this 60s Shirley Bassey type hit and towards the end she incorporated opening wrappers and such and finished out the song.
Ronnik
Chorus Member Joined: 6/1/03
#72re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 1/11/08 at 2:20pm
I thought it was hilarious at GLORIOUS ONES when they said "photography is not permitted, but you may paint in oils."
Also, the I AM MY OWN WIFE in German was unique and funny at the time. Others have copied that now.
The Ahrens & Flaherty website
#73re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 1/11/08 at 2:22pmI liked the Grey Gardens announcement. And didn't John Doyle do the announcement for Company? It wasn't funny or anything, but I just remember thinking that it sounded like him.
"A well-rounded performer will listen to all kinds of music. I like classical, Middle Eastern, and rock a lot." -- Patti LuPone
#74re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 1/11/08 at 4:35pmAt a local production of 'This Wonderful Life' the announcement started with the 'everytime a bell rings an angel gets their wings' speech, then switched to the voice of Daddy explaining that it isn't always true. That nowadays, when a cell phone goes off an angel dies. I think there was something else, but that's all I can remember.
Mythus
Broadway Legend Joined: 8/16/04
#75re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings
Posted: 1/11/08 at 5:47pm
Spamalot's, just for accuracy's sake:
"Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the Shubert Theatre. During this performance, please feel free to let your cellphones and pagers ring willy-nilly. However, do remember that there are heavily armed knights onstage and you might well be dragged up and impaled. Oh, and the Spamalot orchestra is under the baton of..."
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