Since I'm pretty sure there's already a thread for worst lines, I'm going to go with whole shows and just say that it'd be a tie between Legally Blonde and Wicked.
"To my people in the dark Still out there in the dark."
I'm sorry; you can try a little harder and rhyme a word with something that's not...itself.
When I see the phrase "the ____ estate", I imagine a vast mansion in the country full of monocled men and high-collared women receiving letters about productions across the country and doing spit-takes at whatever they contain.
-Kad
I disagree with Legally Blonde. I think her lyrics are quite clever, especially "So Much Better" and "Ireland" (one of my favorite recent comic lyrics).
"Dancing Through Life" has to be the worst lyric for a song in a musical. Most of Wicked's other lyrics don't bother me AS much.
Wedding Singer and Spamalot are tie for me.
Going earlier, Tim Rice's Joseph... lyrics are pretty damn awful (though I think his Evita lyrics are genius). Happy Hunting has some pretty bad lyrics (not to mention some generic music).
Though I'm sure this is ban-worthy, I have to cite (ONLY CERTAIN PARTS OF) Into the Woods. Strange since I consider this having some of the best lyrics ever in a show. The only thing that bothers me (and maybe someone here could explain it) is Witches can be right, Giants can be good. You decide what's right you decide what's good
Same with the Alone parts in the same song. And yes I am aware that that part is not meant to rhyme, but every time I hear it since I am so used to Sondheim having some of the most amazing rhyming patterns, it just rubs me the wrong way. Good and Good?? Okay not WORST by far, just bothers me in an otherwise (IMO) perfect show.
Oh, and though I love The Wedding Singer in all its flawed glory, every time I hear Laura Benanti sing
These sort of things happen all the time When life gives you garbage - use it to cliiiiiiiiiimb.
I (all at once) cringe, laugh, sing along, vomit a little, and laugh again because I realize that (completely unintentionally) Benanti is referencing her own career. That was PURE garbage and she used it to climb to the top and (with a little help from Gypsy) win a Tony. So yay. Updated On: 7/29/08 at 01:13 AM
>"Im the bells of Saint Peters in Rome, Im tissue paper on a cone"
are you fu*king kidding me? Tissue Paper on a cone????<
If you are going to try to take down a set of lyrics or a legendary lyricist, it helps to quote the lyrics correctly. As mentioned earlier in this thread, it is "tissue paper on a comb". And the reason it is a brilliant lyric is that Dorothy Fields is saying "I'm something unbelievably grandiose" (Bells of St. Peter) and "I'm something incredibly simple" (tissue paper on a comb) because the character singing the song is loved, without having to express those sentiments in such plain terms.
Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end: then stop.
I can excuse 'The Wedding Singer' for occasionally spewing out awful lyrics, because they fit the overall aesthetic of the show.
My favourite show for terrible lyrics is 'The Civil War'.
Think of an up-tempo, almost cheerful song. Now imagine it with these lyrics:
"And sometimes it's too much to bear The dead and dying everywhere And every day for me is judgement day Every day for me is judgement day
I sit among my charts and maps And hear the lonely call of Taps Like the wind across the moon"
It proceeds to burble on about sending boys out to die, killing floors, bloody sounds of war, all to an almost perky melody. It's *just* dignified enough that the song isn't completely ridiculous, but it's still uptempo enough that it seems a bizarre juxtaposition with such doom 'n' gloom lyrics.
That's 'Judgement Day'. And how about 'Missing You (My Bill)'?
"I learned to chop a tree today I laughed so hard I cried And Billy helped and scraped his knee But he took it all in stride"
and
"The parlour roof still leaks a bit Where the gable meets the eave You always meant to get to it But I know you had to leave"
Simply beautiful in their insanity. Wildhorn's lyrics never fail to make me smile. In a really REALLY bad way. XD
I'm shocked no one hit: "it's a simple little gig/you help me kill a pig/and I've got a plan for the blood"
or
"you never know what your nickel buys/'till your grab a box of cracker jack and open up the prize/is it what you thought/i bet not/remember go too far and there's no turning back/remember Cracker Jack/Cracker Jack"
"Im the bells of Saint Peters in Rome, Im tissue paper on a cone"
are you fu*king kidding me? Tissue Paper on a cone????"
Other's have already explained to you why this is a brilliant lyric, but if you seriously didn't know you missed the whole point of the song. I'd hate to see what else you've missed.
"Light the candles! Get the ice out! Roll the rug up, it's today!"