No, actually, what tops that is the following year having to recite "The New Colossus" (which is the poem written at the base of the Statue of Liberty) in a Statue of Liberty costume...as a freaking sophomore in high school.
"I can't figure out what kind of life this is, comedy or tragedy, I just know it's showbiz. And what if I don't agree with the lines I have to read? They don't pay me enough, the way I see it."
"I am open, and I am willing,
For to be hopeless would seem so strange.
It dishonors those who go before us,
So lift me up to the light of change."
Holly Near
Ugh...when I was in high school, one of my teachers made us act out a series of Shel Silverstein poems. That would have been fine -- except she seemed to put us in the poems which would be most personally embarrassing to us all. Example: She gave the fattest girl in class a poem about dying from eating too much pie.
I don't even remember which poem it was, but mine required me to flex my "muscles" shirtless. And I was THE scrawniest little queen in the school.
I was in a murder mystery and I was playing a drunk character (who later turned out to be the culprit). At one point, I had to burst onto stage singing bits and pieces of different showtunes horribly off-key. I've always been self-conscious about singing in front of people, but when I have to sing badly, it's even worse.
"The world is a better place because of hairspray." - Michael Ball
"I've lost everything! Luis, Marty, my baby with Chris, Chris himself, James. All I ever wanted was love." --Sheridan Crane "Passions"
-------
"Housework is like bad sex. Every time I do it, I swear I'll never do it again til the next time company comes."--"Lulu"
from "Can't Stop The Music"
-----
"When the right doors didn't open for him, he went through the wrong ones" - "Sweet Bird of Youth"
------------
---------
"Passions" is uncancelled! See NBC.com for more info.
Reading explicit gay sex blogs from the internet. That was the whole show.
Though it wasn't officially "on stage", I agreed to do one of those improv murder mystery things for a private party as a last-minute replacement. It was the last time I agreed to do anything that I knew nothing about.
I told the woman who ran the company that I had NO EXPERIENCE and would need some rehearsal. The "rehearsal" took place in her townhome with about 27 Lhaso-Ahpsos. She and another woman just told me that we would write down some little factoids about the guests, "interrogate" them, and then reveal the murderer. I was to be the detective and they were the suspects. That was it. No fake plot, no cues or signals to change direction or guide the show. Nothing. I had no idea what was going on and it showed. The director (or whatever you want to call the crazy cow who ran the show) just treated me like an imbecile in front of the audience for not knowing what she wanted to happen next, then start rambling nonsense that didn't have anything to do with anything, and then shot me with the fake pistol and admitted to the "murder", which was never explained in the beginning to the audience nor to me. The other cast member just sort of stood next to the wall utterly speechless (though she was not reprimanded as she was the loony's best friend). It was The Actor's Nightmare come true.
Afterwards, she threatened not to pay me for "misrepresenting" myself as a professional (which I was, just not at improv murder mysteries, especially those involving psycho crazy bitches with no concept of rehearsal, professionalism, or even a tentative grasp on reality). At the end of the evening, she agreed to give me HALF the agreed amount and I walked away from her outstretched hand holding the check telling her that I didn't want the money because sharing my experience with others in the theatre community would be payment enough. Coincidentally, the "company" folded in less than a year.
"What can you expect from a bunch of seitan worshippers?" - Reginald Tresilian
I fell of the stage durring a preview, and hurt my wrist. The show had to stop, and thi mean girl in the cast came up to me and said: "You messed up MY whole show. You should have never been cast."
I was in a produciton of SPRING AWAKENING. There was a scene when the boys in a reform school all aim for a coin. It was simulated of course, but always made sure I was lost in the cluster of guys so no one could see me...
I was 15. Let me back off for a second. There was nothing, nothing sexual or inappropriate about this. It was just a running joke that my friends and I had -- that every show with her that I did, I ended up in various states of undress onstage.
Crossdress I didnt do in a gay sort of way but I did have to dress up and pretend that i was a girl. Then it turned out that i was the bad guy. It was only for a few minutes but it was really embarassing! Updated On: 6/19/06 at 05:37 PM
I have no shame when I'm onstage, but I think this ties into the topic.
In high school, on the day of opening night (usually on Thursday or Friday nights), we would have to wear our costumes around school to promote the show. The only time this was a bit of a problem for me was during my senior year One Act festivals. I was playing a grandma of the Atlantic City variety, and I had compiled the costume by myself. Grey mullet/massive sunglasses for cataracts/tacky sweatsuit. However, what made it painful to wear around were the fake breasts I had made. I took two grapefruits, and stuck one in each toe of a pair of pantyhose, and then slung the crotch of it over my neck, under my clothing. It gave the illusions of having saggy boobs that went down to my knees. Not the most flattering thing to wear around school.
I was "Voices Offstage" for 'Picnic'... I had three different characters... and I played this one character Poopdeck Mccullogh... who says something like "Hey Goon face come kiss me I want to be sick!" and laughs. Well I laughed kind of like that character in the Simpsons, who goes "HA-HA!" well.. to this day (and this was like 5 years ago) people still bring that one line up to me.
that and I was in the audience of a show I had designed the set for... well some kid while bowing walked back into it... so the curtain started to close - and you could see the set piece come down and then kids screaming and then the curtain moving.
It was pretty comical when I look back on it.
But, I was just like "and theres my set!" ay-yi-yi.. and it was a matinee and there was damage, so I had to go hurry and fix it.
"Zac is sweet as can be. He's very much just a sweet kid from California who happens to have a face that looks like it was drawn by Michelangelo, (if Michelangelo did anime)." -Adam Shankman.
"I haven't left this building since Windows 3.1!"
"Celebrating a birthday this week: Rene Descartes is 412! Do you know who he is? Then why are you watching this show? You could probably get into college and even get one of those job things. As for the rest of us; Amanda Bynes is 22! Yay!" -E!'s "The Soup"