"Stalking" actors
"Stalking" actors
Playbill
Chorus Member Joined: 6/5/03
#0"Stalking" actors
Posted: 6/5/04 at 9:48amOkay. I'm not actually stalking a performer. But I do go to every show he is in, even if it means going across the country. I rarely go to the stagedoor to meet him, because I'm actually more interested in just seeing him perform. Do you think this is crazy?? And do you think the peformer gets freaked out about it??
#1re: 'Stalking' actors
Posted: 6/5/04 at 10:10amI think it depends on the performer.
I starred in a short film called Magnetic Personality. Check it out!
Broadway Legend Joined: 12/31/69
#2re: 'Stalking' actors
Posted: 6/5/04 at 10:18am
I think that some of them are very flattered that you go to see them perform for show after show.
I do believe there is a line between loving a star and then also be "stalker-like"
Like, for those who know, I LOVE LINDA EDER! But it is not a stalker-y kind of thing. 
#3re: 'Stalking' actors
Posted: 6/5/04 at 10:20amI don't think seeing some one perform could ever be stalkerish. It's meeting them everywhere they go...going to the alternate exits of the theatre to make sure they don't get out...THAT'S when you're a stalker.
SamIAm
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/18/04
#4It really DOES depend on the person and on your behavior
Posted: 6/5/04 at 10:37am
There are a lot of performers who appreciate seeing a friendly and familiar face in a theater or even at a stage door if they are inclined to go out and meet fans. BUT...to be a friendly face that someone looks forward to seeing you have to be nice but not overly gushing and DON'T follow them or hound them. Just tell them politely that you really enjoy their performance and, if you want and they are comfortable with it, take a picture or get an autograph and then leave it at that.
It's the people who act like lunatics and follow performers around that make them nervous. But, you should also be aware that some entertainers are just not comfortable with the public and their fans and are either shy or want their privacy. Try to find out in advance how they feel about public contact and don't push it if they are not comfortable. You will just have a bad experience and end up with very different feelings about the performer and they will end up being annoyed or upset with YOU.
Use common sense!
"Life is a lesson in humility"
broadwaystar2b
Broadway Legend Joined: 3/28/04
#5re: 'Stalking' actors
Posted: 6/5/04 at 10:44am
Seeing an actor perform in shows multiple times is no different than going to an actor's movies multiple times. That's not an act of stalkerism. In fact, the actor would probably find it very flattering. Even waiting for them at the stagedoor isn't really an act of stalkerism either because, in a way, it's an extention of their performance to treat fans with courtesy. (Although, as I've said before, meeting stars after shows is a priveldge, not a right).
Like NYCBabe said: "It's meeting them everywhere they go...going to the alternate exits of the theatre to make sure they don't get out...THAT'S when you're a stalker."
In other words, you've got nothing to worry about Playbill. Go see your favorite actor in his shows. You're helping the theatre econemy too
lc1965
Leading Actor Joined: 7/29/03
#6re: 'Stalking' actors
Posted: 6/5/04 at 10:59amI'm w/ NYCBabe also. It's more about hanging on that person & not giving the performer the choice of whether he/she chooses to meet with you. I have to admit, though, that I don't "get" the whole idea of seeing the same show repeatedly, for whatever reason. Nevertheless, if you're polite, respectful, considerate, & keep your distance you're okay.
Murder By Music at Dillons 9/9, 16, 23, 30
www.murderbymusic.com
#7re: 'Stalking' actors
Posted: 6/5/04 at 11:08am
"Seeing an actor perform in shows multiple times is no different than going to an actor's movies multiple times. "
Sure it is. In live theatre, the actors can see the audience and sometimes have several of them waiting at the stage door. In the movie theatre, the actors don't know who's seeing the show and they don't come out when the film reel is played through.
"I have to admit, though, that I don't "get" the whole idea of seeing the same show repeatedly, for whatever reason."
If you really love a show (i.e. The Phantom of the Opera) you go back sometimes to get your fix. They can be like a drug...sometimes, though, it's the actor who's a drug. It's the same thing as having a favorite TV show where you'll even watch the repeats even though channels like TBS show the same repeats all the time.
Plince! Plince! Nein! T-Rex!!
#8re: 'Stalking' actors
Posted: 6/5/04 at 11:11amHow bout if you write a letter to an actor and tell them when your going to see the show...does that sound stalkerish? I did that with Idina Menzel, haha nd havnt heard back from her for months. (it was my first time writing to her)
"Chicago is it's own incredible theater town right there smack down in the middle of the heartland. What a great city! I can see why Oprah likes to live there!" - Dee Hoty :-D
newyorkuniq
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/1/03
#10re: 'Stalking' actors
Posted: 6/5/04 at 11:15amThere's nothing strange or unusual about any reasonable attempts to show one's appreciation for a performer. In almost every case they appreciate it. The lines that can't be crossed are obvious to anyone who's playing with a full deck. Writing letters, waiting at stage doors and travelling to see a performer is perfectly acceptable and perfectly normal. There's certainly nothing wrong with letting a performer know you've come just to see them, after all, what better compliment is there than that?
Dollypop
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/15/03
#11re: 'Stalking' actors
Posted: 6/5/04 at 2:18pm
I was a big fan of the opera tenor Jerry Hadley and used to travel all over the country to hear him sing. Eventually we got to know each other and he helped me plan a trip to Vienna when he was singing in DON GIOVANNI there. After the performance he took me out for a late dinner and the next day he and his wife invited me to dinner at their apartment.
A wonderful friendship developed and I was invited to the Hadleys' home for dinner on several occasions. I even helped his wife plan his 40th birthday party.
Sadly the friendship fell apart just about the time when his career began to fade a few years ago.
"Long live God!" (GODSPELL)
Broadway Legend Joined: 12/31/69
#12re: 'Stalking' actors
Posted: 6/5/04 at 2:40pmI have never written an artist but I am sure that some of them would be more then happy to meet with you if time permited. I hope that most of them do not just throw the letters and cards away without first looking at them.
NativeNewYorker
Broadway Legend Joined: 7/29/03
#13re: 'Stalking' actors
Posted: 6/5/04 at 3:02pm
The only time I wrote to an actor to tell him I was coming to see him perform was Tate Donovan about five years ago. I told him where I was sitting and at curtain call, he glanced around the audience (it was a tiny theater) and made eye contact with me and squinted and smiled. (There weren't many young girls in the audience for that play...) He was so excited to meet me after the show...he was more excited than I was. Kinda weird.
I can't imagine many stage actors getting freaked out by having devoted fans. I think they probably just feel surprised that people actually know and care who they are. Every time I've approached a Broadway performer when I've seen them in the street, they always have that confused, "Wait, you know who I am????????" look before they smile. (I'm talking ensemble members and understudies, not Bernadette or Chita...)
There's an interesting chapter in the Making it on Broadway book about this topic...Idina Menzel says how she gets a little taken aback when everyone wants her autograph at the stagedoor...but then when she's on the subway going home, people couldn't care less who she is.
#14re: 'Stalking' actors
Posted: 6/5/04 at 3:58pm
I will say one thing though, I've actually gotten emails from people asking me if I can get in contact with a certain performer for them just because I happen to know him from seeing a show a bunch of times. That tends to freak me and the person out, so just please use the correct channels and if the person doesn't write back to you right away, that doesn't mean you have to keep writing them and writing them because thats when the line becomes crossed and scary.
Using the proper channels is really cool though and I've never seen anyone who didn't appreciate someone liking their work.
And hang on, when did you win the discus?
kitkatgirl54
Leading Actor Joined: 5/19/04
#15re: 'Stalking' actors
Posted: 6/5/04 at 4:10pm
after reading this thread, a really nice memory i almost forgot about made me smile...
when i was about 7 my grandparents bought me tickets to the tour of phantom of the opera for my birthday. i liked it so much, it became a tradition for 3 years in a row, and the same actor was playing the phantom each of those three years on the tour. i had found out he was going to be leaving the show and we weren't going to get to see him the following year, so i wrote a letter telling him i was 10 and how much i liked the show and was disappointed he was no longer going to be in the tour. in return, he sent me one of those overpriced souvenier programs signed by the entire cast, with a note written to me on the front. throughout the inside of the program on several different pages was signed "OG" over different pictures of him which i really got a kick out of. i'll always remember it!
generally i'm really against stage-dooring unless i have something specific to tell the actor that i feel they would benefit from ('oh i go to your old voice teacher and she just had a baby' or something like that). i just feel like i'm not going to stand there and say "you were great" and they say "thanks" and then leave ... so usually i stand back and leave that to the teenyboppers or whoever. but i was at a concert last week and ran into an ensemble member of a broadway show in the bathroom, who i have seen in several other things recently. my instinct was to leave her alone and let her enjoy her day off, but after reading this post i realize maybe she would have enjoyed it to be recognized outside of a theater setting... hmm...
l.
#16re: 'Stalking' actors
Posted: 6/5/04 at 4:15pm
Oh gosh!
I figured it out!
It's Eddie Varley, isn't it?
That man has soooo many stalkers.
I starred in a short film called Magnetic Personality. Check it out!
NativeNewYorker
Broadway Legend Joined: 7/29/03
#17re: 'Stalking' actors
Posted: 6/5/04 at 4:40pm
"generally i'm really against stage-dooring unless i have something specific to tell the actor that i feel they would benefit from ('oh i go to your old voice teacher and she just had a baby' or something like that). i just feel like i'm not going to stand there and say "you were great" and they say "thanks" and then leave ... so usually i stand back and leave that to the teenyboppers or whoever. but i was at a concert last week and ran into an ensemble member of a broadway show in the bathroom, who i have seen in several other things recently. my instinct was to leave her alone and let her enjoy her day off, but after reading this post i realize maybe she would have enjoyed it to be recognized outside of a theater setting... hmm..."
I saw Barrett Foa leaving Heather Headley's show two weeks ago and just tapped him on the arm and went, "You're great, so funny, I'm a big fan." He looked at me SO confused that I thought, "Shoot...that's not Barrett Foa, is it?" I went, "You're...Barrett Foa, right?" He gave me this enthusiastic double handshake and went, "Yes! Yes! I am Barrett! I told him my name and he said once again, "I'm Barrett!" It was cute...he was excited to be recognized.
Matt_G
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/1/04
#18re: 'Stalking' actors
Posted: 6/5/04 at 6:29pm
I don't think that following a performer around is stalking. If I had the money, I'd follow Madonna around the world. If you have the means to do it and it's something you enjoy I say go for it.
But if you do wait outside the stage door for your favorite performer each night, please step aside and let the other people waiting get a chance to have their playbill signed, picture taken etc. It's really the polite thing to do.
"Noah, someday we'll talk again. But there's things we'll never say. That sorrow deep inside you. It inside me, too. And it never go away. You be okay. You'll learn how to lose things..."
#19re: 'Stalking' actors
Posted: 6/5/04 at 7:04pmLike everyone has said, it's all about knowing where the line is. Reading the person's cues. I have a friend that often follows her favorite Broadway actor, and she was given his e-mail and cell number by him. She also knows other actors/actresses the same way. She met them from going to the stage door, and she's always telling me and obsessing about whether or not she should call them. I always tell her that if they gave her their phone number, they expect her to use it. She shouldn't call them daily, but when she wants...However, if you're following them and knowing what they do privately (and they don't know you are), that's stalking. Who cares if they can see you in the audience? You returning tells them that you like their performance. I've actually thought about going to the stage door (something I rarely do) to meet Idina and tell her as a voice teacher how much growth I've heard in her voice. Somehow, I doubt she'd mind. I've even thought of asking her to teach a master class, but I would never talk to her about something non-professional, I don't know her. Keep going to that actor's show. I've seen AVENUE Q four times...
#20re: 'Stalking' actors
Posted: 6/5/04 at 7:09pmWe've been through this before..... I don't stalk Adam Pascal at the theatre, I stalk him at the gym. Most notably the steam room and shower area... If that qualifies, then yes, I'm a stalker..... Updated On: 6/5/04 at 07:09 PM
Amneris
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/16/03
#21re: 'Stalking' actors
Posted: 6/5/04 at 9:29pmspeaking of actors at the gym..im not a stalker, just a little pissed that Neil Patrick Harris got on the treadmill behind me last week and turned on "starting over" when i was watching "the view"...some people...
#22re: 'Stalking' actors
Posted: 6/5/04 at 9:48pm
Speaking of stalking...Which gym do you go to? 
"And it's mean and ugly..." NPH describing the world in 'Take me to the world' from Evening Primrose
Updated On: 6/5/04 at 09:48 PM
ShineOn
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/11/03
#23re: 'Stalking' actors
Posted: 6/5/04 at 10:12pm
If you have an entire itinerary of their daily schedule and are everywhere they are from day to day... that is stalking.
If you follow them home and sit outside their window each night, waiting for them to leave... that's stalking.
If you wait outside a stage door every night, that is obsessive. Nothing more. It's not dangerous. The actor would just think it weird AT MOST. Unless you give an actor a reason to be scared, they won't be. So many people see shows obsessively that performers are used to it.
A cast member told me that there was this one guy that was always at The Full Monty in the front row eating cookies... did the actors always see him? Obviously. Did they think it was strange? Well... clearly. She said he wasn't dangerous or scary... he was just the cookie man.
And, yeah... if an actor gives you their contact info, they expect you to use it. I can understand her hesitance to use it though... I found myself in a similiar situation and you feel like you don't know where the boundaries lie... or worse, you don't want to mistakingly cross them. It's understandable. It's like, 'Well, are we friends now or am I still just a fan to you?... or...? What?' It can get confusing... because, YES, they are just people, but a lot of these people have many fans and in no plausible way could they befriend them all... so you have to question what distance they want to keep you at and understandably so.
"You! You are the worst thing to happen to musical theatre since Andrew Lloyd Webber! And you, well, I just plain don't like you."
~Stewart Gilligan Griffin
~Stewart Gilligan Griffin
#24re: 'Stalking' actors
Posted: 6/5/04 at 11:21pmCATSNY, you crack me up. So what gym is this? lol
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