We all have different opinions about him and his work but what are you're favorite lines or jokes from his shows? I'll start.
From Xanadu: It's like getting married without the good part. (Both laugh) Oh that's just wrong.
Let us go and complete our evil mission. (Giggles) NO! Let us not giggle, let us cackle (Cackles) Cackling in high heels listen to us, this is like children's theatre for 40 year old gay people.
From Cinderella: Marie! You are a crazy woman, what are you doing in a beautiful gown?
You'd be suprised to see how many beautiful gowns have crazy women in them.
Xanadu: B****, I don't know your life. (Cape toss)
Little Dog: Pretty much the entire He Meaning Him scene. I directed the show in college and it's just so much fun when your actors immediately understand the pacing and rhythm of it.
Madame: Get out of my house! You're no longer welcome here, to the devil with you! (To Cinderella) I'll decide what to do with you later. Why did you have to make me doubt myself, I was doing so well!
From Lysistrata Jones: Xander enters wearing a Spartan costume and he says that he got it from the Drama Club's production of 'The Passion of the Christ' and then says "All good theatre was a movie first, that way the audience isn't surprised!" Got a laugh every night but a rolling laugh at the closing performance when Patti Murin said "Oh, that explains it!".
Thank you! It used to set off my uncle's seizures!
And from As Bees In Honey Drown:
Now.....f*u*c*k the camera!
Butters, go buy World of Warcraft, install it on your computer, and join the online sensation before we all murder you.
--Cartman: South Park
ATTENTION FANS: I will be played by James Barbour in the upcoming musical, "BroadwayWorld: The Musical."
I've been wondering about this for a while, but why hasn't Beane written for television? He'd be good at a sitcom episode or he could write for an animated series. There are a lot of things Beane hasn't tried yet and I would like to see him tackle things other than theatre.
He has little to no interest in television. He probably wouldnt mind creating a series, but the labor-intensive week to week writing/show-running does not appeal to him. Plus he's had pretty bad experiences with film companies optioning his plays and nothing happening and I believe his Too Wong Foo experience wasn't 100% great for him. I would LOVE to see what he could come up with though.
"Okay, Todd, now quit it." "Cinesias." "Todd." "My name's not Todd, Todd is my slave name." "Todd, why are you talking in this degrading hip-hop lifestyle manner?" "Yo, yo, yo, yo." "Todd - you're an English lit major." "What's that got to do with it?" "Todd - your family's not FROM the Projects, they OWN the Projects." --- Lysistrata Jones.
"I try to dress simply and let my personality be the star." -- Xanadu.
"I don't know any girls, I went to an all boy's school off in the woods, and then attended an all male university on an island - why did you do that to me?" -- Cinderella.
I went to see Lysistrata Jones after Kim Jong Il had passed away, and the line "Once you've seen the bawdy cheers we've concocted you'll be stiffer than Newt Gingrich's wife after a trip to Tiffany's" was changed to "Once you've seen the bawdy cheers we've concocted you'll be stiffer than Kim Jong Il" - the audience and cast (who were kept in the dark sans Josh Segarra who the line was being delivered to) lost it.
"Anybody that goes to the theater, I think we’re all misfits, so we ended up on stage or in the audience.” --- Patti LuPone.
Lots of Cinderella in here...surprising since to me that is by far Beane's weakest work. Dreck.
For me it's...well, the entire script of The Little Dog Laughed. "My word? You're asking a whore for her cherry!" "A writer with final cut...I'd rather give firearms to small children."
^^Actually Kelly, Mr and Mrs Fitch is Beane's WORST work he has done in his entire life. A huge unfunny mess of what COULD'VE been a nice giggle worthy play, but no, it's devoid of any good humor. At least to me.
'Women will see Evan in this suit and die. Gay men will see Evan in this suit, squeal and die. Straight men will see Evan in this suit, be confused and die. Lesbians will inherit the earth.' - Alexa, AS BEES IN HONEY DROWN